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Dec
22nd
Mon
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  • Me: so do you still want to head home weds morning?
  • Dan: yah
  • Dan: let's try to catch an approx 10am train
  • Me: great, pick a train
  • Dan: o my god
  • Dan: safari won't empty its motherfucking cache
Dec
17th
Wed
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  • Me: sometimes I wish I were part of some kind of ethnic group so I could have automatic buddies
  • Me: OMG YOU'RE WHITE TOO???
  • Me: LET'S MAKE A CLUB
  • Rosie: yeah i know
  • Rosie: if you had a white people club it would be the KKK
  • Me: yeah I guess so
  • Me: bummer
Dec
15th
Mon
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  • Me: so any genius ideas for christmas gifts for mom & dad?
  • Dan: i might knock up some bimbo
  • Dan: give them some grandkids
Nov
24th
Mon
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  • Dan: and this wasn't a hipster bar or some loser bar, it was a real bar!
Nov
17th
Mon
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Nov
14th
Fri
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Nov
5th
Wed
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  • Cory: dating is for suckers
  • Me: aren't you dating someone now?
  • Cory: I suppose.
  • Me: but...
  • Cory: you are 3 words away from about 1,000,000 sex jokes
Oct
29th
Wed
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  • Cory: you know, that article paints cindy mccain as a mean badass
  • Cory: but if anyone is a mean badass, its michelle obama
  • Cory: she will beat a bitch
  • Me: yeah michelle obama is totally badass
  • Me: I love her
  • Me: super smart, articulate, sensible, and doesn't LOOK LIKE A SOULLESS ZOMBIE
  • Me: but will still break your fucking neck if the situation calls for it
  • Me: and then she'd be like, "baby, I just broke that bitch's neck"
  • Me: and barack would be all, "thanks baby"
  • Me: *fist bump*
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  • Me: can you think of a way I could dress up as the electoral college?
  • Cory: not without being confused as a lady in a blue dress with a violent period
Oct
23rd
Thu
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  • Cory: wait
  • Cory: hold on
  • Cory: why have I not turned my cubicle into a blanket fort?