-
Me:
so do you still want to head home weds morning?
-
Dan:
yah
-
Dan:
let's try to catch an approx 10am train
-
Me:
great, pick a train
-
Dan:
o my god
-
Dan:
safari won't empty its motherfucking cache
-
Me:
sometimes I wish I were part of some kind of ethnic group so I could have automatic buddies
-
Me:
OMG YOU'RE WHITE TOO???
-
Me:
LET'S MAKE A CLUB
-
Rosie:
yeah i know
-
Rosie:
if you had a white people club it would be the KKK
-
Me:
yeah I guess so
-
Me:
bummer
-
Me:
so any genius ideas for christmas gifts for mom & dad?
-
Dan:
i might knock up some bimbo
-
Dan:
give them some grandkids
-
Dan:
and this wasn't a hipster bar or some loser bar, it was a real bar!
-
Cory:
dating is for suckers
-
Me:
aren't you dating someone now?
-
Cory:
I suppose.
-
Me:
but...
-
Cory:
you are 3 words away from about 1,000,000 sex jokes
-
Cory:
you know, that article paints cindy mccain as a mean badass
-
Cory:
but if anyone is a mean badass, its michelle obama
-
Cory:
she will beat a bitch
-
Me:
yeah michelle obama is totally badass
-
Me:
I love her
-
Me:
super smart, articulate, sensible, and doesn't LOOK LIKE A SOULLESS ZOMBIE
-
Me:
but will still break your fucking neck if the situation calls for it
-
Me:
and then she'd be like, "baby, I just broke that bitch's neck"
-
Me:
and barack would be all, "thanks baby"
-
Me:
*fist bump*
-
Me:
can you think of a way I could dress up as the electoral college?
-
Cory:
not without being confused as a lady in a blue dress with a violent period
-
Cory:
wait
-
Cory:
hold on
-
Cory:
why have I not turned my cubicle into a blanket fort?
